Second Date

So, I hung out with that guy again last night. He didn't call me until almost 11:30, which annoyed me at first. I had thought based on previous conversation that we were going to go out on some sort of actual date, so I was really surprised that I hadn't heard from him by 7, then by 8, and then by 9ish I made the decision that if he called me I wasn't going to do anything with him. It was just a matter of principle. If this is going to be anything at all I really, really don't want it to be just late-night phone calls when one of us wants some action. I've done enough of that for the time being. For now I'd like something more...real. You know, something that involves going out to dinner and spending time together while the sun is still up. So I decided that if he called me late at night and wanted to do something I would say no and tell him that if he wants to see me he can't assume that he can call me in the middle of the night and I'll actually be a) awake, b) not already out with someone else, c) willing to hang out. I was going to put my foot down and demand some respect, damn it.
But then he called and when I started to tell him no, that he can't be calling me that late and inviting me out, he said, "Oh, I thought your rehearsal went until 11 so I wanted to wait until you got out." Apparently I forgot to make it clear that I only rehearse Monday through Thursday. So since it was my fault and not his, I decided he could come over for a while. We hung out and had a couple of beers and just talked for a few hours. He met my animals, both of whom loved him and immediately crawled onto his lap and stayed there for most of the night (or maybe they didn't actually like him and were just feeling jealous and doing everything in their power to keep him from touching me, I don't know).
It went well. We're going to see each other again, possibly today.
I just don't like the beginning of relationships. Some people thrive on that-the nervous excited butterflies when a new guy calls, being around someone and realizing you still have so much to learn about him, watching him flatter you and think of cute little romantic things to woo you. But that's not my thing. Sure, there's something exciting about it. But ideally, I would skip the first six months of the relationship. I like the part where everything is set, and I know a guy's quirks and we sort of have a routine and I know his friends and he knows my friends and he doesn't feel like he has to impress me.
I keep reminding myself that the comfort zone I've loved about the relationships I've been in so far wasn't there right at the beginning. A connection was there at the beginning, but it takes time to get into the comfort zone. I just wish I could be there already, you know?
Oh, and I'm not good at this whole pacing-myself-physically thing. We end up making out for a while and then I put a stop to things (because I don't want this to just be about sex, remember?) and I feel like I'm in high school all over again. So far, Mike has been the only guy in my life that I've actually dated in the "proper" way. You know, start out just kissing, move on to other things gradually. But that was back in high school, and I was a virgin, and something tells me that now that I'm older the standard waiting time before gettin' it on for the first time is NOT six months. I don't even know if it's six dates. I have no idea, because with every other guy that I've dated we always fooled around excessively first (I've never had sex the first time I've gotten into bed with somebody, but there was always more involved than just kissing, let's put it that way) and then kept fooling around excessively, and then started having sex, and THEN started dating (or just skipped the "dating" bit altogether, lalala). So now I know that I want this to be about hanging out and getting to know each other and spending time together out of bed, but as a result of my not letting him get with me I feel like he's sort of obsessed with the idea of getting me into bed. Which is flattering, but...I just don't know if I should just do it--probably not EVERYTHING, but at least get into an actual bed and take some clothes off--so that whole anticipation-of-the-first-time bit will be over and we can move on to other things, or whether letting it get that far right away will be counterproductive to it becoming an actual relationship.
I know what I'd tell someone asking me that question. I'd say, "If he really likes you and you like him and it's going to be a real relationship, it's going to become one whether or not you sleep with him on the very first date." But I also just don't want to sleep with another guy and have it ultimately turn out to be nothing. Thisreal dating stuff is too complicated for me.

Oh, and Mike is being weird and jealous about all this. Of course. Who didn't see that one coming from a mile away? However, am I wrong for thinking that he is just not allowed to act upset about it because HE is the one that left ME? Oy.