I'm such a bitch, but I can't resist!

[Let me preface this by saying I am not normally a bitchy or catty person and I would never say these things to either Mike or his girlfriend. I don't intend this post to come across that way, although I know it does. Instead of reading this as me being a bitch, just know that this was the last thing I needed to do to honestly make myself feel better.]

So I have the night off tonight, right? It's Tuesday, I don't have class on Wednesday and I don't have any serious homework due until next week, so I'm giving myself a break.
Amongst other things, I did some MySpace sleuthing and I decided on a whim to see if I could find a picture of Mike's new girlfriend. It was actually pretty easy and took almost no effort. He met her through a friend named Jackie, so I just looked at Jackie's MySpace pictures and sure enough, there was a picture of her with this girl. (P.S.-I am not a MySpace psycho, I was pretty certain I'd be able to find a picture of her on Jackie's profile. Had Jackie not had a picture of her, I would have quit right then. I don't have all night to sleuth around on MySpace, I have better things to do).
Mike had described her to me as having dark hair and blue eyes, which is normally a really good combination so I was expecting her to be pretty damn hot, right? Well...she's not! She's not bad looking, she's actually sort of cute, I suppose. But she has very bad highlights and...oh man, this is good...she has Crazy Eyes!
I know I probably need to define what I mean by Crazy Eyes, but the thing is, Crazy Eyes is hard to define. You just know it when you see it. Crazy Eyes does not mean bad looking eyes or eyes that aren't pretty, it just means there is a look to her eyes that makes me think that deep down she's probably crazy. Kymberli and I started using the term "Crazy Eyes" in college to describe this girl Jaimie that we went to school with who actually ended up being psycho. Now, I'm not saying that this new girl is psycho. But to this day whenever I see people with eyes like that I get concerned. Since the days of Jaimie I've met several other Crazy Eyes people and sure enough, all of them eventually showed their crazy side. And I'm not talking crazy in a good way. I'm talking manic-depressive, or compulsive liar, or some other sort of crazy that manifests itself in more subtle ways until the one day Crazy Eyes finally goes off the deep end. Like I said, I can't explain it. It's just a gleam in the eye combined with sort of a bug-eyed appearance, and this girl definitely has Crazy Eyes.
So I'm not saying that Mike's new girl is crazy. I don't know the girl, for all I know she's perfectly fine. All I'm saying is, I've yet to meet someone with Crazy Eyes that didn't ultimately turn out to be nutty. So yeah, I'll never actually tell Mike that I think his girlfriend has Crazy Eyes. But the fact that I know she does secretly makes me even happier inside than I already was today.
I was afraid I'd find a picture of her and she'd be really hot and gorgeous. And I would admit it if she was. I'm not a very vain person and I have no trouble admitting when other women are prettier than I am. I am by no means gorgeous, and there are a lot of truly gorgeous women out there. But this new girlfriend is definitely not one of them. Like I said, she's cute other than the whole Crazy Eyes factor, but I am definitely the hotter girl. There's no doubt about that in my mind.
Man, I feel better. I was afraid that Mike actually had a really good reason for picking another woman over me. But nope, he has picked a Crazy Eyed girl who bartends for a living (and as far as he knows has no idea what she actually wants to do, which isn't so great when you're already 24).
I know it's stupid and pointless and petty, but the fact that I now know in my mind that I'm better on paper AND better looking as well makes me feel pretty damn good about myself. I think this was the last step I needed to really get over all of this. I realize that there is a lot more to a good romance connection than looks and superficial stuff like careers and money. But at least now if Mike never comes back around to me I'll at least have the satisfaction of knowing that it's his loss and he's actually not picking the better girl. If he does end up staying with her I'll concede that maybe she's the better girl for him, but at least now I know that I'm the Better Girl, period. In a contest based on superficial things like career success and looks, anyway. Haha.