Blog gods is the most fun thing to say that I've made up in my head today.
The most fun thing to say that I didn't make up in my head today is this: "The Chilean government fears this invasion of giant beavers." I swear to god that's an actual quote I heard in a story on NPR tonight as I was driving home from a rehearsal. Apparently these beavers have invaded Chile from an island off the coast (an island they weren't supposed to be on in the first place) and now they're eating fish and mussels, which is not a natural part of a beaver's diet. So they've gotten huge. They're like, seventy pound beavers. And the Chilean government fears them. This is not a made-up story, this is actual news. And I love it. I immediately wrote the quote down in my playwriting journal when I got home. I'm not sure how I'd possibly work a quote about giant Chilean beavers into any play I might write, but maybe it'll provide some inspiration for...something.
Anyway, I'm making an entry right now because if I don't do it right now odds are another entire week will go by without a blog entry and somehow in my head that's just unacceptable even though I have absolutely nothing exciting to say anyway.
In current news, I almost killed my laptop last night. I picked up my water bottle, which was sitting right beside my computer, and as I picked it up a couple of drops of water sloshed out onto my keyboard. I'm not exaggerating when I say it was only three little drops of water, but damn if that H20 didn't wreck total havoc. My keyboard went nuts and the keys weren't typing the right letters and symbols. So I sat on the floor blowdrying my keyboard on low for, oh, about forty minutes. It was not my finest moment. The thing is, I thought I had fixed it. When I went to bed last night it seemed to be working just fine. But when I woke up this morning the keyboard wasn't working at all. So I bought an external keyboard and plugged it into my laptop and this is working fine temporarily. Rueben-the-computer-fixer-guy is supposed to come over tomorrow afternoon to fix the laptop itself. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he CAN fix it, because this giant keyboard attached to my laptop is incredibly annoying. I guess I should just be grateful I didn't ruin it entirely, though. It could be worse.
In the continuing files of CRAZY, remember that guy who freaked me out talking through my window just before the holiday break? The guy who likes me but who I'm not interested in at all? I did an entry about him back in December, I would link to it but I'm being lazy. Well, I've been avoiding him for weeks and weeks now. He still calls me two or three times a week and I ignore his call every single time. You'd think at some point he'd give up, but no, he persists in believing that I'm just really busy but that eventually I'll have time in my schedule to go out with him. At least he has stopped coming by my apartment uninvited, but he's replaced that annoying habit with the equally annoying habit of stopping me in the halls and parking lots at school and saying hi to me and then berating me for not saying hi to him first. I swear, he has managed to tell me about six times since the semester started that he's hurt that I don't say hi to him. Truthfully, I would probably ignore him even if I did see him. But the fact is, I'm not ignoring him on purpose. I really just don't notice him. And it's not a personal thing against Crazy, I unintentionally ignore a lot of people. I walk really fast and I am always thinking about things and working things out in my head, and that's especially true when I'm on campus. When I'm on campus I'm not in relaxation/play mode, I'm in work mode. I'm usually running late, and I'm always thinking ahead to what is coming up in class or at work and what I'm going to be expected to do. That combination is not very conducive to noticing people and saying hello. So I pretty much don't say hi to anyone unless they say hello to me first. End of story. But apparently I'm supposed to stop in my tracks and say hello to him and he finds it extremely insulting when I don't. So I've managed to avoid him successfully for an entire week, until tonight when I went up to school to make the box office deposit and he happened to be sitting on the steps in the lobby. Damn. I walked right past him into the box office and he followed me (uninvited, of course) and then made the very astute observation, "Oh. You're still managing the box office this semester?" (No, dude, I just have a pair of keys and I come up here after hours and sabotage things to screw up the person who actually manages the box office). Anyway, I said yes and he said, "I guess since you have to work the box office you can't come see the show with me then?" and I said, "Nope, I can't. I got your message last week [in which you invited me to do something TWO WEEKS FROM NOW in the hopes of pinning me down way in advance because you just don't comprehend that I purposely always have plans when you call, Crazy] and I can't do it so I didn't call you back." He then proceeded to congratulate me for actually waving hello to him last Wednesday. For the record, I have absolutely no recollection of waving hello to him last Wednesday. For all I know I did, because like I said I'm not paying much attention to my surroundings when I'm walking on campus so it's entirely possible I waved to him. I don't know why the hell I'd do that even subconsciously though, so it might not actually have been me. Anyway, I told him that I don't remember waving to him, and he got all indignant and said, "I'm just trying to compliment you on actually being observant for once," and I said, "And I'm just telling you that I still wasn't being observant because I don't remember seeing you or doing that. I'm just not an observant person." And he replied, "Yeah, that's what I've heard. "
"Yeah, that's what I've heard"? He makes it sound as if all the undergrad kids I barely know sit around on the lobby steps talking about how unobservant I am. As if that's my reputation. Some people sleep around, others are alcoholics, others are nerds, Ashley is unobservant. What the hell? Who on earth would actually have a conversation about that? There's no way he and other people have sat around talking about how I never notice anyone. He's so bizarre.
Well, I need to go. I'm having to reapply for all my scholarships (they don't just renew automatically here if you keep your grades up, which annoys the hell out of me but that's a whole other entry) so I need to touch up my resume, and I have Dramaturgy stuff to read. So much to do, always.
I think I might go to Padre for spring break, though, drive down and meet Mike and his friends. That would be so much fun. I hope it works out.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Friday, January 27, 2006
Why is the time stamp always wrong on this journal?
Sorry it has been so long since I posted. Classes are going full swing, I'm already really busy, what else is new?
The answer is pretty much nothing. If anything really exciting had happened you can bet I would have posted about it.
Instead, it's been a pretty typical week. I go to classes, I do a lot of reading, I spend some quality time with my pets, I spend far too long talking to my friends on IM most nights, and I work out. That's pretty much all I do every day.
Actually, a few fun and exciting things have happened since I last posted. Here they are:
1) My best grad school friend Mandi and I went out drinking on Thursday night. We both got really buzzed. I had a great time. It was awesome!
2) Kymberli came to town for the weekend and I got to see her on Saturday night. Kymberli, Matthew, my sister and I went to a party Maggie Maes. We all got really buzzed...okay, DRUNK. I had a great time. It was awesome!
3) My dad was in town last weekend. I spent a lot of the weekend hanging out with him and with my relatives in San Antonio. We drank some margaritas but did not get buzzed. I had a great time. It was awesome!
4) I cooked again! This time I made these really nifty little bacon/tomato/egg/toast things. They were sort of like muffins, they were cooked in a muffin tin. It was basically toast with an egg cooked inside and a tasty topping. I also made salad dressing!! Salad dressing! This makes me very happy even though it was the easiest thing in the world (Dijon mustard, lemon juice, olive oil. That's it!)
So yeah, that's about it. You haven't missed much. I can't believe I've already been in school for two weeks, though. Time is flying.
The answer is pretty much nothing. If anything really exciting had happened you can bet I would have posted about it.
Instead, it's been a pretty typical week. I go to classes, I do a lot of reading, I spend some quality time with my pets, I spend far too long talking to my friends on IM most nights, and I work out. That's pretty much all I do every day.
Actually, a few fun and exciting things have happened since I last posted. Here they are:
1) My best grad school friend Mandi and I went out drinking on Thursday night. We both got really buzzed. I had a great time. It was awesome!
2) Kymberli came to town for the weekend and I got to see her on Saturday night. Kymberli, Matthew, my sister and I went to a party Maggie Maes. We all got really buzzed...okay, DRUNK. I had a great time. It was awesome!
3) My dad was in town last weekend. I spent a lot of the weekend hanging out with him and with my relatives in San Antonio. We drank some margaritas but did not get buzzed. I had a great time. It was awesome!
4) I cooked again! This time I made these really nifty little bacon/tomato/egg/toast things. They were sort of like muffins, they were cooked in a muffin tin. It was basically toast with an egg cooked inside and a tasty topping. I also made salad dressing!! Salad dressing! This makes me very happy even though it was the easiest thing in the world (Dijon mustard, lemon juice, olive oil. That's it!)
So yeah, that's about it. You haven't missed much. I can't believe I've already been in school for two weeks, though. Time is flying.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Two Things
1) I ordered all of my books for this semester from private sellers on Amazon, figuring it would save me money (and it did, although it was a fairly negligible amount of money. Mainly it saved me time because now I don't have to walk all the way up the huge hill to get to the campus bookstore and then make the trip three or four different times since the books are never all in the first time you go, or the second...). Today my first book came in the mail. Luckily, it's the exact book I really needed to get this week since it's for my directing class and we have a reading due on Thursday. Anyway, I unwrapped the package and got all excited when I saw that it was A Director Prepares. I was much, much less excited when I saw that the seller had included a flier with the book entitled "Go Vegan for Life" complete with pictures of pigs in slaughterhouses and a phone number to call for a free Vegan Starter Kit. To Amazon seller Imagradstudent, whoever you may be: I'm a grad student too! What a coincidence! This may make us allies in some ways, but not in all of them. Yes, I may be studying theatre, which you may have infered from my order. However, the fact that I'm a theatre grad student does not automatically make me a super-liberal granola-y sort of person. I realize how one might make that assumption about someone ordering Anne Bogart's directing book but that just goes to show you that you should never make assumptions based on one's reading and/or entertainment selections (incidentally, Amazon.com, you need to listen to this as well-I ordered one Muppet Movie ONCE as a Christmas gift a year ago. Please stop assuming I want everything Jim Henson ever created). Anyway, Imagradstudent, even if I did agree with you and your PETA-esque ways that still doesn't mean I want your propaganda included with my text book. Thanks but no thanks.
2) Tonight in my Dramatic Theory class Christin was lecturing and she filled the chalkboard with our musings on "Theory is..."and then realized that there was no eraser so that she could erase the board and we could move on to "Criticism is..." But I saved the day (okay, the class...okay, not even the class) when I realized that I had tissues in my bag. Well, the tissues are these holiday patterned tissues that Mom put in my Christmas stocking. They have ornaments on them. They're also the thickest tissues known to man and are pretty horrible for actually using on your nose but they function well as napkins (and chalkboard erasers, as it turns out). Anyway, I pulled the tissues out and handed one to Christin and she said, "Wow! These are so festive!" and everyone in the class started laughing and Shanthi said, "That's why we love Ashley!" and Amanda said, "That's the exact sort of thing that Ashley would have" and everyone else in the class nodded and agreed. Which leaves me wondering, am I really a festive holiday tissue person? Really? Enough to make an entire class full of people nod their heads and say, "Yup, that's Ashey!" Who knew?!
As a side note, the first day of class went well. I'm looking forward to all three of my classes so far, for the most part anyway. It's gonna be a hell of a lot of work again, but at least it should be interesting, possibly even enjoyable work so I can't really complain...yet.
2) Tonight in my Dramatic Theory class Christin was lecturing and she filled the chalkboard with our musings on "Theory is..."and then realized that there was no eraser so that she could erase the board and we could move on to "Criticism is..." But I saved the day (okay, the class...okay, not even the class) when I realized that I had tissues in my bag. Well, the tissues are these holiday patterned tissues that Mom put in my Christmas stocking. They have ornaments on them. They're also the thickest tissues known to man and are pretty horrible for actually using on your nose but they function well as napkins (and chalkboard erasers, as it turns out). Anyway, I pulled the tissues out and handed one to Christin and she said, "Wow! These are so festive!" and everyone in the class started laughing and Shanthi said, "That's why we love Ashley!" and Amanda said, "That's the exact sort of thing that Ashley would have" and everyone else in the class nodded and agreed. Which leaves me wondering, am I really a festive holiday tissue person? Really? Enough to make an entire class full of people nod their heads and say, "Yup, that's Ashey!" Who knew?!
As a side note, the first day of class went well. I'm looking forward to all three of my classes so far, for the most part anyway. It's gonna be a hell of a lot of work again, but at least it should be interesting, possibly even enjoyable work so I can't really complain...yet.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Kitchen Adventures
Remember my new year's resolution to start cooking for myself more, ideally at least two home cooked meals a month?-Well, wait, first let me interrupt myself and say this: that resolution sounds kind of misleading, because it makes it sound as if I never make meals for myself at home. The truth is that I do make meals for myself at home fairly often, and not just heating up frozen food, either (although to be honest that's most of it). I make sandwiches, hot dogs, a variety of quesadillas, three or four different types of eggs, pancakes once in a while, the occasional salad...so I do make things for myself fairly often but I hardly ever do cooking that involves actually following a recipe and using kitchen tools like cutting boards and whisks and stuff like that.
So anyway, my resolution is to make two homecooked meals a month. The other day at the store I bought one of those large chef's skillets figuring that if I dropped twenty bucks on a skillet I'd be a lot more willing to actually stick to this resolution. I also bought all of the ingredients to make a macaroni and cheese meal from my Rachael Ray cookbook. The recipe seemed easy enough, and my goal was to start out with something I probably couldn't screw up.
Well, the recipe wasn't as foolproof as I thought. The recipes in this Rachael Ray cookbook are already basically "Cooking for Dummies". I apparently need "Cooking for Completely Incompetent and Inept Idiots". Here are things that almost tripped me up:
1) My cheese grater is complete and utter crap, which I didn't discover until I tried to use it tonight and it basically broke in my hand. So I ended up having to chop the cheese into slivers using a knife. Note to self: Buy better grater. Oh, and I also realized about midway through the cheese chopping process that I could have just bought a bag of pre-shredded sharp cheddar cheese and saved myself five minutes. It's okay though because the cheese still melted like it was supposed to and it was probably better quality cheese than the pre-shredded stuff anyway.
2) Speaking of the cheese, I forgot all about it until my pasta water was already boiling. I prepped everything else before I started but forgot all about the cheese so I had to chop it up as fast as I could, all the while hoping my pasta wouldn't boil over in the meantime. Luckily the timing worked out perfectly on that somehow and I finished with the cheese right as my pasta was ready.
3) My sauce almost boiled over three different times. Each time I picked it up off the burner just in time to prevent a giant mess.
4) I thought this would be really easy, but it was actually kind of tricky because both the pasta and the sauce were cooking on the stove at once, and once the sauce started cooking everything had to come together really fast which kind of stressed me out because I'm more of a one-step-at-a-time kind of person.
But nothing burned, and nothing boiled over, and it actually came out really good!
All in all I'm pretty proud of myself, and I'm going to try to actually stick to this resolution and try something else within the next couple of weeks. It may be a very small and stupid accomplishment, but hey, it's something. Next meal I'm determined to do something with meat because I've never in my life handled raw meat. I'm scared of meals involving cooking meat, I guess because the chances of getting sick are high if I don't do it properly. That and I'm kind of indimidated by the meat department at the grocery store. But I'm going to get over my stupid intimidation and just do it. People much less intelligent than me have successfully cooked a chicken breast.
So yeah, I definitely want to learn to be a better and more confident cook, and the only way I can do that is to just get a lot of practice. The thing is, it's going to be harder to do once school starts. This meal tonight took me about forty minutes to prepare including prep time and cleaning time. Then it took me twenty minutes to eat, so all told I spent an hour on dinner tonight. It's kind of hard to justify spending an hour or more on dinner when normally it takes about twenty to thirty minutes total including cooking and eating time. But I'm sure I can manage twice a month. The only other problem is the amount of food. This meal I made tonight serves four, and it's BIG portions, too. I ate some for dinner and just portioned out some leftovers to take over to Matthew (I'm glad I have a neighbor to share leftovers with) but I still have enough to probably eat three more meals. And I highly doubt I'm gonna want mac and cheese three more times this week.
Oh well. I'm proud of myself!
So, this was the most boring enter ever, wasn't it?
So anyway, my resolution is to make two homecooked meals a month. The other day at the store I bought one of those large chef's skillets figuring that if I dropped twenty bucks on a skillet I'd be a lot more willing to actually stick to this resolution. I also bought all of the ingredients to make a macaroni and cheese meal from my Rachael Ray cookbook. The recipe seemed easy enough, and my goal was to start out with something I probably couldn't screw up.
Well, the recipe wasn't as foolproof as I thought. The recipes in this Rachael Ray cookbook are already basically "Cooking for Dummies". I apparently need "Cooking for Completely Incompetent and Inept Idiots". Here are things that almost tripped me up:
1) My cheese grater is complete and utter crap, which I didn't discover until I tried to use it tonight and it basically broke in my hand. So I ended up having to chop the cheese into slivers using a knife. Note to self: Buy better grater. Oh, and I also realized about midway through the cheese chopping process that I could have just bought a bag of pre-shredded sharp cheddar cheese and saved myself five minutes. It's okay though because the cheese still melted like it was supposed to and it was probably better quality cheese than the pre-shredded stuff anyway.
2) Speaking of the cheese, I forgot all about it until my pasta water was already boiling. I prepped everything else before I started but forgot all about the cheese so I had to chop it up as fast as I could, all the while hoping my pasta wouldn't boil over in the meantime. Luckily the timing worked out perfectly on that somehow and I finished with the cheese right as my pasta was ready.
3) My sauce almost boiled over three different times. Each time I picked it up off the burner just in time to prevent a giant mess.
4) I thought this would be really easy, but it was actually kind of tricky because both the pasta and the sauce were cooking on the stove at once, and once the sauce started cooking everything had to come together really fast which kind of stressed me out because I'm more of a one-step-at-a-time kind of person.
But nothing burned, and nothing boiled over, and it actually came out really good!
All in all I'm pretty proud of myself, and I'm going to try to actually stick to this resolution and try something else within the next couple of weeks. It may be a very small and stupid accomplishment, but hey, it's something. Next meal I'm determined to do something with meat because I've never in my life handled raw meat. I'm scared of meals involving cooking meat, I guess because the chances of getting sick are high if I don't do it properly. That and I'm kind of indimidated by the meat department at the grocery store. But I'm going to get over my stupid intimidation and just do it. People much less intelligent than me have successfully cooked a chicken breast.
So yeah, I definitely want to learn to be a better and more confident cook, and the only way I can do that is to just get a lot of practice. The thing is, it's going to be harder to do once school starts. This meal tonight took me about forty minutes to prepare including prep time and cleaning time. Then it took me twenty minutes to eat, so all told I spent an hour on dinner tonight. It's kind of hard to justify spending an hour or more on dinner when normally it takes about twenty to thirty minutes total including cooking and eating time. But I'm sure I can manage twice a month. The only other problem is the amount of food. This meal I made tonight serves four, and it's BIG portions, too. I ate some for dinner and just portioned out some leftovers to take over to Matthew (I'm glad I have a neighbor to share leftovers with) but I still have enough to probably eat three more meals. And I highly doubt I'm gonna want mac and cheese three more times this week.
Oh well. I'm proud of myself!
So, this was the most boring enter ever, wasn't it?
Friday, January 13, 2006
Long time no blog!
Hola. Or, if you prefer, holla!!
Wow, it has been a while, hasn't it? So much has happened since I last posted. In fact, the first couple of weeks of this year have been very close to perfect. To talk about everything I've done in the past couple of weeks would take a lot of energy that I don't really feel like expending right now, plus you probably wouldn't really want to read about it anyway. Because, honestly, how many times can I say, "Mike and I did such-and-such and we had a great time!" before you get bored?
Actually, there was more to the past two weeks than Mike. There was my brief whirlwind trip to Las Vegas. Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, Chelsea and I went to celebrate Chelsea's 21st birthday. I had a great time. We only stayed for two nights and one full day so it was an incredibly short trip, but we crammed a lot of fun and luxury into a short time. We stayed at the Bellagio and for a Vegas hotel room it was great. My favorite things were the buttons that opened and closed the drapes (You could do it from bed! It was actually really cheesy now that I think about it) and the giant bathtub. We ate at a couple of good restaurants Olives and Jasmine. We went to the hotel spa and got massages and I took a shower in the coolest shower ever. It was a "light therapy" shower. I don't know what the hell light therapy is actually supposed to do other than make easily amused people like myself happy, but the shower had three different shower heads (one that came down from above like rain) and the lighting would subtly change from red to blue to green to yellow to pink and repeat the cycle in some kind of random pattern I never did figure out even though I stood in the shower for a while. We saw Avenue Q at the Wynn Hotel and it was excellent except for the part where my Grandpa almost passed out from dehydration right before intermission. All through intermission ushers were hovering around us and there was talk of bringing in a wheelchair and calling an ambulance. Apparently my Grandpa knew that he just needed water or Gatorade and apparently my dad has seen this happen on the golf course before so they weren't worried, but all us womenfolk (ha) were pretty freaked out. I thought he was having a heart attack or something. The whole thing scared me because it made me realize that my grandparents are getting old and they won't be around forever. One day someone will have to call that ambulance, you know? It scares me. Luckily he recovered in time for the second act and I ended up really liking the show. I'm so glad I got to see it. I won $175 playing blackjack, which was really awesome because I never win anything. We also went to the Rum Jungle club at Mandalay Bay, which sucked, and Studio 54 at the MGM, which was so much fun. Chelsea and I met these guys from New Jersey who ended up being fun dance partners. I normally hate guys at clubs because they tend to just start grinding on you uninvited when you're just trying to dance with your girlfriends (Why do guys do this? Why?) but these two were actually polite. They were quite possibly the most polite guys I've ever met at a club. The guy I ended up hanging out with actually introduced himself and chatted to me for a while without making idiot comments about my "beautiful smile" or "hot legs in that skirt" or any other variety of the stupid pick up lines I usually get. Then he politely invited me to dance and once we were dancing together he didn't put his hands on me until I touched his shoulders first which I really appreciate. And then he bought me a couple of drinks when we got tired of dancing (we all danced together for two straight hours, the DJ was rockin') and at the end of the night when Chelsea and I went to head home he didn't try to kiss me and he didn't beg me to stay out longer or come back to his room with him. And the guy Chelsea was with seemed to be the same way. They weren't guys I'd be interested in dating even if there wasn't the complication of me being in Texas and them being in New Jersey, but it was the first time in a long time that I've been in a bar or club without feeling like a piece of meat to be drooled over, and I appreciated that a lot. Apparently there are still decent guys out there.
Speaking of decent guys, I had so much fun with Mike during break. I seriously can't even explain how comfortable I am with him and how much fun we have together. It feels like we've come full circle. We dated, we fell in love, we broke up because long distance relationships suck and we were only 20 years old and we needed to see what else was out there, we had some rough times and some hurtful things were said as we tried to get over each other, we realized getting over each other was impossible but we both wanted to really be done with the relationship so there were a couple of awkward years where we both tried our best to date other people and get over each other but somehow kept sleeping together each time we saw each other anyway, and all along we kept talking pretty much every day. And then came last year. We still talked a lot but not as much. Sometimes a week or two would go by with just a few text messages. And when we did talk I didn't feel needy and I didn't feel jealous. We finally got to the point where we could talk about our other relationships and although it stung a little hearing about him with other girls no longer made me want to cry. We finally reached the point where we were just really close friends who had once dated. And then this past fall we started getting to be even closer friends. We got back to talking every day again, and one night for some reason I stopped fighting it and let myself flirt with him again. And he flirted back. And then there was Thanksgiving, and then Christmas break. And now Mike describes our relationship as "best friends that sleep together" and yeah, that's pretty much exactly what this is. Whatever our relationship is right now it feels good. I feel like we're both more mature and we both understand each other better than we ever did in the past. It still sucks because we're still in limbo and we're basically stuck in a position of wanting to be together but not being able to have things the way we want them to be. And I don't think either of us want to be exclusive again unless we can be in the same place and have the full relationship we both want. So who knows if that will happen. I know I'd like it to happen, and I think he'd like it to happen, but I know that as long as we're living in different places there are a whole lot of factors that could come into play, and a whole lot can happen in a year and a half (which is probably reasonably how long it would be before we could be in the same place even if things do head that way). Basically all I know is that we have a great time together, and he makes me happier than any other person I know, and we had a really great time together this month and I suppose that's all that matters right now. I need to stop rambling.
Mike was here at my apartment with me all week and we had a great time. We were together literally 24/7 for a whole week and I never once got annoyed with him being here or wished he would get out of my space, which is pretty impressive considering how much I like being alone. We did touristy things like hanging out on 6th Street and the drag and shopping at the outlet malls, and we ate A LOT. My god, did we eat. There are all these restaurants here that Mike loves that they don't have in El Paso, so we'd basically plan our day around where we wanted to eat. Haha. We also just bummed around a lot. We'd take Cohen on walks in the park, and one night we just stayed in and rented a movie (2046, I highly recommend it), we chilled in the hot tub one night...one night we were both lying on the couch and he was watching football and I was reading and I thought wow, we are an old married couple...and I could definitely get used to this. All in all it was great.
Of course, now I'm feeling down because my apartment feels really empty and I have no idea when Mike and I are going to get to see each other again so that sucks. But I am feeling hopeful right now.
Anyway, I'm talking to Kirby online and I haven't talked to him in months so trying to do both this and that at the same time is really hard. So I'm done with this.
Wow, it has been a while, hasn't it? So much has happened since I last posted. In fact, the first couple of weeks of this year have been very close to perfect. To talk about everything I've done in the past couple of weeks would take a lot of energy that I don't really feel like expending right now, plus you probably wouldn't really want to read about it anyway. Because, honestly, how many times can I say, "Mike and I did such-and-such and we had a great time!" before you get bored?
Actually, there was more to the past two weeks than Mike. There was my brief whirlwind trip to Las Vegas. Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, Chelsea and I went to celebrate Chelsea's 21st birthday. I had a great time. We only stayed for two nights and one full day so it was an incredibly short trip, but we crammed a lot of fun and luxury into a short time. We stayed at the Bellagio and for a Vegas hotel room it was great. My favorite things were the buttons that opened and closed the drapes (You could do it from bed! It was actually really cheesy now that I think about it) and the giant bathtub. We ate at a couple of good restaurants Olives and Jasmine. We went to the hotel spa and got massages and I took a shower in the coolest shower ever. It was a "light therapy" shower. I don't know what the hell light therapy is actually supposed to do other than make easily amused people like myself happy, but the shower had three different shower heads (one that came down from above like rain) and the lighting would subtly change from red to blue to green to yellow to pink and repeat the cycle in some kind of random pattern I never did figure out even though I stood in the shower for a while. We saw Avenue Q at the Wynn Hotel and it was excellent except for the part where my Grandpa almost passed out from dehydration right before intermission. All through intermission ushers were hovering around us and there was talk of bringing in a wheelchair and calling an ambulance. Apparently my Grandpa knew that he just needed water or Gatorade and apparently my dad has seen this happen on the golf course before so they weren't worried, but all us womenfolk (ha) were pretty freaked out. I thought he was having a heart attack or something. The whole thing scared me because it made me realize that my grandparents are getting old and they won't be around forever. One day someone will have to call that ambulance, you know? It scares me. Luckily he recovered in time for the second act and I ended up really liking the show. I'm so glad I got to see it. I won $175 playing blackjack, which was really awesome because I never win anything. We also went to the Rum Jungle club at Mandalay Bay, which sucked, and Studio 54 at the MGM, which was so much fun. Chelsea and I met these guys from New Jersey who ended up being fun dance partners. I normally hate guys at clubs because they tend to just start grinding on you uninvited when you're just trying to dance with your girlfriends (Why do guys do this? Why?) but these two were actually polite. They were quite possibly the most polite guys I've ever met at a club. The guy I ended up hanging out with actually introduced himself and chatted to me for a while without making idiot comments about my "beautiful smile" or "hot legs in that skirt" or any other variety of the stupid pick up lines I usually get. Then he politely invited me to dance and once we were dancing together he didn't put his hands on me until I touched his shoulders first which I really appreciate. And then he bought me a couple of drinks when we got tired of dancing (we all danced together for two straight hours, the DJ was rockin') and at the end of the night when Chelsea and I went to head home he didn't try to kiss me and he didn't beg me to stay out longer or come back to his room with him. And the guy Chelsea was with seemed to be the same way. They weren't guys I'd be interested in dating even if there wasn't the complication of me being in Texas and them being in New Jersey, but it was the first time in a long time that I've been in a bar or club without feeling like a piece of meat to be drooled over, and I appreciated that a lot. Apparently there are still decent guys out there.
Speaking of decent guys, I had so much fun with Mike during break. I seriously can't even explain how comfortable I am with him and how much fun we have together. It feels like we've come full circle. We dated, we fell in love, we broke up because long distance relationships suck and we were only 20 years old and we needed to see what else was out there, we had some rough times and some hurtful things were said as we tried to get over each other, we realized getting over each other was impossible but we both wanted to really be done with the relationship so there were a couple of awkward years where we both tried our best to date other people and get over each other but somehow kept sleeping together each time we saw each other anyway, and all along we kept talking pretty much every day. And then came last year. We still talked a lot but not as much. Sometimes a week or two would go by with just a few text messages. And when we did talk I didn't feel needy and I didn't feel jealous. We finally got to the point where we could talk about our other relationships and although it stung a little hearing about him with other girls no longer made me want to cry. We finally reached the point where we were just really close friends who had once dated. And then this past fall we started getting to be even closer friends. We got back to talking every day again, and one night for some reason I stopped fighting it and let myself flirt with him again. And he flirted back. And then there was Thanksgiving, and then Christmas break. And now Mike describes our relationship as "best friends that sleep together" and yeah, that's pretty much exactly what this is. Whatever our relationship is right now it feels good. I feel like we're both more mature and we both understand each other better than we ever did in the past. It still sucks because we're still in limbo and we're basically stuck in a position of wanting to be together but not being able to have things the way we want them to be. And I don't think either of us want to be exclusive again unless we can be in the same place and have the full relationship we both want. So who knows if that will happen. I know I'd like it to happen, and I think he'd like it to happen, but I know that as long as we're living in different places there are a whole lot of factors that could come into play, and a whole lot can happen in a year and a half (which is probably reasonably how long it would be before we could be in the same place even if things do head that way). Basically all I know is that we have a great time together, and he makes me happier than any other person I know, and we had a really great time together this month and I suppose that's all that matters right now. I need to stop rambling.
Mike was here at my apartment with me all week and we had a great time. We were together literally 24/7 for a whole week and I never once got annoyed with him being here or wished he would get out of my space, which is pretty impressive considering how much I like being alone. We did touristy things like hanging out on 6th Street and the drag and shopping at the outlet malls, and we ate A LOT. My god, did we eat. There are all these restaurants here that Mike loves that they don't have in El Paso, so we'd basically plan our day around where we wanted to eat. Haha. We also just bummed around a lot. We'd take Cohen on walks in the park, and one night we just stayed in and rented a movie (2046, I highly recommend it), we chilled in the hot tub one night...one night we were both lying on the couch and he was watching football and I was reading and I thought wow, we are an old married couple...and I could definitely get used to this. All in all it was great.
Of course, now I'm feeling down because my apartment feels really empty and I have no idea when Mike and I are going to get to see each other again so that sucks. But I am feeling hopeful right now.
Anyway, I'm talking to Kirby online and I haven't talked to him in months so trying to do both this and that at the same time is really hard. So I'm done with this.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Happy 2006!!
Can you believe it's 2006? Time is such a strange thing. It simultaneously feels like there's no way an entire year has gone by and like it has been six lifetimes since I was living in Fort Worth and student teaching in Grapevine last spring.
I'm excited about 2006. I like the potential of New Year's Day, of not having any idea what might come my way in the next year. There's always the possibility that 2006 could be the first year of my life that really sucks. But I'm an optimist so I like to think that maybe this will be the best year I've ever had. Or at the very least that I'll manage to be pretty content this year.
If the first eighteen hours are any indication, 2006 could end up being really good. I spent basically all day yesterday with Mike. His older brother got married yesterday. They had a Justice of the Peace marry them at a courthouse so I didn't go to the wedding ceremony itself, but Mike invited me to the reception which was just a casual food-and-cake deal at his sister Amy's house. It was mainly Mike's family there, Patty (Devin's new wife)'s family, and some friends of Devin's from work. I had fun. The food was delicious, and I like Mike's family. They're nice people.
Then last night Mike took me to his friend Brian's New Year's Eve party. I'd been kind of stressed about New Year's Eve since I didn't know who was going to be at the party and I was irrationally worried that I was gonna have to beat dumb chicks off Mike with a stick all night long, but it ended up being so much fun. Mike kept me close to him all night and introduced me to people and I never felt left out at all, which was awesome. It also helps that I'm finally getting to know everybody now, and can sometimes keep up with at least some of their group gossip. It helps that I can at least put faces to most of the names now. I'm also finally starting to get why Mike loves his guy friends so much, because they really are funny as hell. Turns out it just takes a while for them to warm up to an outsider like me, I guess. I have to say I still don't like most of the girls, though, and it's honestly not a jealousy thing. I would admit it if it was. I just feel like most of the girls in the group are, well, dumb. There are some girls in the group that I actually do like, but a lot of them make me sad. Maybe they're intelligent, friendly, rational people, but most of them come across as ditzy. Plus I keep hearing stories about them that just depress me. Like the girl Mike was dating for a while who is basically just a basketcase who got evicted from her apartment and can never pay her bills (and not because she had a legitimate emergency that caused her to lose her money, just because she's an irresponsible person). Or the girl who is married and screwing around with seemingly all of the guys in the group (apparently she's getting divorced now, thank god). Or the girl who is always out with the guys whenever I go out who has a baby at home. I'm sorry, but I have no sympathy for a girl with a baby. It was her stupid mistake getting pregnant in the first place (There is no reason for an accidental pregnancy, there just isn't. And you can't convince me there is, so don't even try), and her even bigger mistake choosing to have and keeping the baby. So I don't feel bad that she couldn't come to the new year's party because her baby daddy didn't come to pick up the kid. When she chose to have the baby she chose to give up her going out drinking and partying non-stop lifestyle. Or at least, she should have in order to be a good mother. That's not to say you can't go out and have a good time once you have kids, because I fully intend to continue drinking and partying once I'm a mom. But not as often as this girl seems to. She's the kind of parent that makes me sad.
So yeah, I'm getting way off topic. Most of the girls are lame, but the guys make me laugh.
The party was a lot of fun, and it was a sleep over so I got to spend all night cuddling with Mike, which was pretty perfect.
Crap, I have to go eat dinner right now so I cant elaborate like I wanted to. But I'll leave you with my favorite quotes of the evening/morning:
Matt: Only thirty seconds left! Quick, if you wanted to do something in 2005 and you never did it, do it right now! I never did this: [Breaks out in bizarre gyrating dance move, head thrown back and hands waving in the air]
Carla (from across the room): Yes you did!
Matt: I did?
Carla: In Austin. Alllll of Austin.
Matt: Damn! 10! 9! 8!...
"Wow Bob. That wasn't very G-Unit of you."-Bubba, staring down the stairs towards the bathroom, where Bob had just finished puking all over the bathroom door and the hall floor [yeah, it was a pretty ridiculous party]
"Hey, Bob. This blanket? It's gangster!...This loveseat? Not so gangster."-Matt. That was the first thing he said upon waking up this morning. Like, literally the very first thing. It KILLED me.
Me: Why did you sleep on that short loveseat? You're the tallest person here.
Matt: When I came to bed it was the only place that wasn't already taken up by people or throw up.
There was so much more, but apparently we're going to dinner like, NOW, so I'm out. All in all, it was a pretty awesome night.
I'm excited about 2006. I like the potential of New Year's Day, of not having any idea what might come my way in the next year. There's always the possibility that 2006 could be the first year of my life that really sucks. But I'm an optimist so I like to think that maybe this will be the best year I've ever had. Or at the very least that I'll manage to be pretty content this year.
If the first eighteen hours are any indication, 2006 could end up being really good. I spent basically all day yesterday with Mike. His older brother got married yesterday. They had a Justice of the Peace marry them at a courthouse so I didn't go to the wedding ceremony itself, but Mike invited me to the reception which was just a casual food-and-cake deal at his sister Amy's house. It was mainly Mike's family there, Patty (Devin's new wife)'s family, and some friends of Devin's from work. I had fun. The food was delicious, and I like Mike's family. They're nice people.
Then last night Mike took me to his friend Brian's New Year's Eve party. I'd been kind of stressed about New Year's Eve since I didn't know who was going to be at the party and I was irrationally worried that I was gonna have to beat dumb chicks off Mike with a stick all night long, but it ended up being so much fun. Mike kept me close to him all night and introduced me to people and I never felt left out at all, which was awesome. It also helps that I'm finally getting to know everybody now, and can sometimes keep up with at least some of their group gossip. It helps that I can at least put faces to most of the names now. I'm also finally starting to get why Mike loves his guy friends so much, because they really are funny as hell. Turns out it just takes a while for them to warm up to an outsider like me, I guess. I have to say I still don't like most of the girls, though, and it's honestly not a jealousy thing. I would admit it if it was. I just feel like most of the girls in the group are, well, dumb. There are some girls in the group that I actually do like, but a lot of them make me sad. Maybe they're intelligent, friendly, rational people, but most of them come across as ditzy. Plus I keep hearing stories about them that just depress me. Like the girl Mike was dating for a while who is basically just a basketcase who got evicted from her apartment and can never pay her bills (and not because she had a legitimate emergency that caused her to lose her money, just because she's an irresponsible person). Or the girl who is married and screwing around with seemingly all of the guys in the group (apparently she's getting divorced now, thank god). Or the girl who is always out with the guys whenever I go out who has a baby at home. I'm sorry, but I have no sympathy for a girl with a baby. It was her stupid mistake getting pregnant in the first place (There is no reason for an accidental pregnancy, there just isn't. And you can't convince me there is, so don't even try), and her even bigger mistake choosing to have and keeping the baby. So I don't feel bad that she couldn't come to the new year's party because her baby daddy didn't come to pick up the kid. When she chose to have the baby she chose to give up her going out drinking and partying non-stop lifestyle. Or at least, she should have in order to be a good mother. That's not to say you can't go out and have a good time once you have kids, because I fully intend to continue drinking and partying once I'm a mom. But not as often as this girl seems to. She's the kind of parent that makes me sad.
So yeah, I'm getting way off topic. Most of the girls are lame, but the guys make me laugh.
The party was a lot of fun, and it was a sleep over so I got to spend all night cuddling with Mike, which was pretty perfect.
Crap, I have to go eat dinner right now so I cant elaborate like I wanted to. But I'll leave you with my favorite quotes of the evening/morning:
Matt: Only thirty seconds left! Quick, if you wanted to do something in 2005 and you never did it, do it right now! I never did this: [Breaks out in bizarre gyrating dance move, head thrown back and hands waving in the air]
Carla (from across the room): Yes you did!
Matt: I did?
Carla: In Austin. Alllll of Austin.
Matt: Damn! 10! 9! 8!...
"Wow Bob. That wasn't very G-Unit of you."-Bubba, staring down the stairs towards the bathroom, where Bob had just finished puking all over the bathroom door and the hall floor [yeah, it was a pretty ridiculous party]
"Hey, Bob. This blanket? It's gangster!...This loveseat? Not so gangster."-Matt. That was the first thing he said upon waking up this morning. Like, literally the very first thing. It KILLED me.
Me: Why did you sleep on that short loveseat? You're the tallest person here.
Matt: When I came to bed it was the only place that wasn't already taken up by people or throw up.
There was so much more, but apparently we're going to dinner like, NOW, so I'm out. All in all, it was a pretty awesome night.
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