Soft Jeans Straight A's Birthdays Projects

I feel the need to report that I just ripped a hole in one of my favorite pairs of jeans. I sat down in my desk chair and folded my legs up Indian style (my preferred style of sitting, it keeps me sitting up straight and takes a lot of stress off my back, although if crossing your legs really does cause varicose veins I'm gonna be in so much trouble when I'm older) and as I bent my right knee, rip! So now there's a hole in my jeans, and damn it, I don't think hole-y jeans are trendy right now. I'm so disappointed! These jeans, they're so comfortable. Back when we were dating Mike used to refer to these jeans as my "soft jeans" and even made up a nickname for me involving these jeans. [For the record, the nickname was Gray-Shirt-Sock-Hands-Soft-Jeans-Shell-Back and yes, I could explain exactly why that was my nickname except it's one of those stupid disgusting couple-y things that was undoubtedly entertaining only to us and it would take more energy to explain than I feel like exerting right at this moment. If you're really that curious ask me about it someday and I'll explain] Actually, I guess it's a testament to how old these jeans are that I was wearing them regularly when I was dating Mike. I know for a fact I had these jeans when I was a freshman in college, which means they are at least four years old and possibly older than that. And they've been in heavy rotation, I wear them once or twice a week most weeks. So, okay, it was probably about time to retire them anyway but man, it's sad losing a good item of clothing. On the bright side, I now have a pretty good excuse to use some of my birthday money to buy a new pair of jeans, and the Neiman Marcus outlet nearby sometimes has my favorite designer brand (aka the only designer brand I've ever actually worn) for ridiculously cheap prices, so I may actually bring myself to spend my birthday money on something other than groceries and my electric bill.

So, did I mention my birthday is less than two weeks away? Well, it is. And I'm going to be old, as evidenced by the fact that I'm planning to spend at least part of my birthday money on groceries. I'm going to be 23. I'm not very excited about it. 23 is one of my "scary ages". I've been trying to put my finger on why, and I think it boils down to two things. 1) 23 has a 3 in it. I've never been a big fan of the number 3, for some inexplicable reason. Everyone has a number that they irrationally don't like much, right? Well, for me that number is 3. 2) When I say I'm 22 I still feel pretty young. I feel like 22 is young 20s, 22 is college age, 22 is partying until you pass out without people calling you pathetic, 22 is too young to reasonably be expected to do things like buy property or start a career or get married. Yes, some people have done those things by 22, but not the majority. 23, on the other hand, is mid-twenties in my mind. I'm about to enter my fourth year of being a 20-something. 22 is a kid, 23 is an ADULT. Don't ask me why that distinction comes at 23 in my mind, it just does. Somehow it sounds completely illogical to me for anyone to have done the marriage/career/family/home thing at 22 but not all that unreasonable at 23. Young, yes, but perfectly reasonable. Now that I'm about to be 23 I really feel the need to do something with my life. Not that I'm not doing things right now. In the grand scheme of things my life is on the track I would like it to be on. I'm in graduate school so I'm working on my career and I have a basic career goal in mind, even if the specifics are a little fuzzy and change once in a while. Regardless, I'm making progress. I don't live with my parents, which is probably an accomplishment in and of itself. I have a dog, which proves I'm responsible enough to care for another life (having a cat doesn't so much prove that, as the cat can stay in the apartment alone for an entire week as long as I fill up his feeder and leave the toilet seat up). Most importantly-to me anyway-I'm more or less self-sufficient. My parents are incredibly supportive and wonderful in ways that include paying my phone bill, car insurance, and health insurance, and I realize those are some major expenses. But short of those things (and the moment I'm no longer a student I intend to take on those expenses as well) I'm taking care of myself. I pay my own rent and monthly bills, I buy my own groceries, I buy my own gas, my scholarships pay for school completely. I think because my parents were so amazing about paying for me to get my undergraduate degree I feel like it is completely unfair for me to continue taking money from them beyond that. They did an awesome thing for me in that I am going to be able to start my career without any college debt to pay off. I don't know many people in that position, and I'm forever indebted to my parents for giving me that head start. So now I'm trying my best to stop mooching any money from them at all as soon as I possibly can. For some reason it's really important for me to feel like I can take care of myself without financial help from anyone else, and I've taken huge steps towards that goal. I'm not going to be one of those kids that leeches off her parents until she's 32. I'm proud of myself for that. What I'm basically trying to say is that I suppose for all intents and purposes I've been successful thus far. But still I feel like I need to be doing more somehow now that I'm 23, and that's why 23 is a scary age.

I'm still excited about my birthday itself, though. I don't think I'll do anything at all to celebrate other than NOT do any schoolwork at all that day, but that's more than enough celebration for me, believe me!

And while we'e on the subject of birthdays and other happy things, let me just add that the Stupid Group Project is over! And it wasn't nearly as disastrous as I thought it might be! In fact, we facilitated conversations and led activities for the entire 3 hour class period and even had leftover topics that we didn't get to touch on at all. And the prof told us we did a "really great job", which better mean we're getting an A. Or at very least a B+. I'll accept a B+.
And we got our third and final play reports back today and I finally, finally nailed it. A 98! I object to the 98 in theory (is it that hard to just write 100 on top of the paper? Really? I understand the difficulty in implying that my paper is 100 percent perfect when obviously nothing is ever going to be 100 percent perfect, but in terms of the sheer math of it all do the two points really make a difference?) but in reality I'm very excited. So, to summarize: Stupid Group Project is over, I've gotten As on every assignment I've turned in so far. I'm a happy nerd.