Iced up

I'm in such a good mood tonight, mainly because I think I might actually end up with a 4.0 this semester! I kind of can't believe that might actually happen, but at this point it definitely could. I finished my only actual final exam tonight, and all I need to get on the final to get an A in the class is a 70. And I am positive I made at least that. And remember that paper that I wrote pretty much in one day on Tuesday? Yeah, well, I turned that in on Wednesday and got it back today. My professor gave me the exact criticisms I would have given myself if I'd been grading it (not enough in-depth discussion at a few points and a sorta weak conclusion) but then went ahead and gave me a 92 on the paper anyway! Which means I got an A in that class, and that was the one class where I thought I'd likely get a B. So now all I have to do is finish my stage management and directing projects, and although both will be tedious they're both easy. Unless I completely fuck those up, I think I'll get As in those classes too.
So I'm feeling good.

I'm also in a good mood because we had some real winter weather here yesterday and today. There was an actual ice storm last night, which of course I was driving around in because sometimes I have to do incredibly stupid things just to prove that I can. Honestly, I was trying to get back at the weather. See, in September there was all this hype for days about Hurricane Rita and how it was gonna hit the Texas coast with such force that it would still be a level two hurricane by the time it reached the Austin/San Antonio area, and, well, you remember the news stories I'm sure. What actually ended up happening? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Well, no, I take that back. What ended up happening was that the weather got really screwed up and we had a couple of miserable 102 degree days at the end of September. But there was no level 2 hurricane here. It didn't even rain! Basically, everyone panicked and emptied the shelves at the HEB for absolutely nothing. And that's what always seems to happen, whenever weathermen hype the major storm that's on the way, it never actually hits. So yesterday when everyone was freaking out about the impending ice storm and my dad was calling me every half hour to give me weather updates (that's a bad habit of my dad's, he watches the Weather Channel all day long and then likes to call me to tell me what the weather is like here, as if I can't just walk outside and experience it for myself) I decided I might as well drive up to Austin for the night to wrap presents at Barnes and Noble to raise money to help the homeless basset hounds, as I had originally planned. Because the surefire way to actually make a storm come is to say "Fuck you, weather, when was the last time you actually delivered, huh?!?!"
Sure enough, I was only able to help with the gift wrapping for about an hour and a half before they closed the bookstore due to the inclement weather, and I had to drive to my sister's house in Austin over roads that were starting to get icy. The thing is, it was actually kind of exciting and it put me in a Christmas-y mood for some really bizarre reason. Nothing like cruising past hydroplaning Jeeps on frozen overpasses to put you in the holiday spirit! Fa la la la la.
I spent the night at Chelsea's, which I'd planned to do in the first place, and when we woke up this morning there were icicles everywhere and our car doors were frozen shut. When I finally drove back to my apartment late this afternoon it was probably the most beautiful commute I've ever had. The roads were just fine, but all of the fields were still covered in a layer of frost, and as the sun was setting it was glinting off of each individual blade of grass and the world looked like a giant diamond.

A week from tonight I'm going to be in Fort Worth. I was telling Kymberli tonight that I'm excited about going up there to see everybody. It will be fun to see Kymberli's show, and see Katy and Scott, and hopefully hit the Pub, and watch Jenny's graduation ceremony (I'm just going to the pinning ceremony, the ceremony for just the nursing students. There's no way I'm sitting through another TCU graduation ceremony unless I absolutely have to, my own graduation ceremony was boring enough and at least I had some adrenaline pumping that day). But as much as I'm looking forward to it, there's also a part of me that wishes I hadn't made all these commitments to everybody because I'd really like to just get home to El Paso as soon as possible. And a large part of that is because of Mike. He has been so much fun lately that I just want to get back to start chilling with him again.
Mike asked me the other day if I was going to visit my "Fort Worth lover", and the answer to that question is "I have no idea." He and I haven't been talking as much lately as we once did. Suddenly I just got really tired of the whole thing, mainly because I got tired of his late night phone calls that are always seemingly fueled by nothing but alcohol and horniness when there's another guy out there whose late night phone calls are fueled by a desire to actually talk to ME. Plus it's pretty easy to rouse yourself in the night for real sex (it is for me, anyway) but when I'm as tired as I've been the past couple of weeks the desire to have phone sex with him just isn't as overwhelming as the desire to sleep. Sad but true. He has called me a few times this past week sober (or as sober as he ever seems to get) just wanting to talk and not wanting phone sex for a change, and he seemed excited when I told him I was coming to town next week, but I just don't know. I'm not sure if I'm feeling it. I guess I'll just wait and see what sort of mood I'm in next weekend and go from there.
I know for sure I'm ready to get back to El Paso, though. And incidentally, any time I think something like that I suddenly feel like I've time-warped back to Holiday Season 2001. Especially when I'm on the phone with Kymberli and I tell her I'm looking forward to getting back to El Paso and she tells me that she lusted over a bunch of teenage boys during Thanksgiving break.
Some things change, babe, and some never will!